A Tail Problem
by Ash The Wanderer
Summary: As you might have guessed, Vegeta has a problem with a newly regrown tail. Much hilarity ensures.


**__**

A Tail Problem
    
    One fine morning, Vegeta woke up after a night of the usual with Bulma.

"Ah, I actually slept well! A miracle that I actually got a good night's sleep with these blasted Earth be-ARGH!" Vegeta screamed as he fell on of his face while trying to get out of bed.

"AHHHHHHH!' Bulma screamed at the sudden, er, scream.

The door flew open and Trunks, now in his teens, and by now knowing the difference between a good scream and a bad scream with his parents, flew in in SSJ State.

"WHO'S TRYING TO KILL US NOW!?!??!?!!??!" he yelled. Then he saw his parents were ok and relaxed, letting his hair return to its normal purple colour.

Vegeta got up cursing, holding his tail, which had mysteriously grown back after the Buu Saga.

"It's my tail! I tripped over it! And it won't move!" Vegeta said angerily. Holding his tail in front of him, he shook it to illustrate his point.

"It won't move? What do you mean?" Bulma asked. Bra came to the door beside her brother, and Bulma gave a silent thanks to Kami that she had put on a nightgown before she'd gone to bed.

"Look at it! It's limp! It's lifeless!" Vegeta said, continuing to shake his tail.

"Its spring has sprung! Its varmore has vamoosed!" Bra chimed in.

"Err, what she said." Vegeta replied. 

"You must have rolled over and laid on it all night. It must have fallen asleep." Trunks said, ushering his little sister away in case his father decided that he wanted to try to turn the air blue. Bulma sighed, but she was thankful that in this day and age, Vegeta's worst problem was that his tail had fallen asleep.

"It's sleeping, you say?" Vegeta said, his face twisting into his trademark scowl. "Ok! If it's sleeping, I'll wake it up!" 

With that, Vegeta brought his tail up to his mouth.

"WAKKKKKKKEEEEEEE UUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

After the house had stopped shaking, Trunks jammed an ear in his finger to clear the ringing.

"Nice. A little flat though, Toussan. Try a C-Sharp."

His tail still asleep, Vegeta snatched the alarm clock from his bedside, wound it, and brought it against his tail.

"BRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!" it went. The tail remained asleep.

Snarling, Vegeta glared at his limp tail, then stomped off, pushing past his son. Trunks followed him to see what he was going to do.

"Well, a part of him that actually stays limp. It's a miracle." Bulma observed.

Trunks entered the kitchen to his father boiling a pot of coffe on the oven. "Toussan, what are you doing?"

"A little bit of coffee usually does the trick!" Vegeta replied. Trunks suddenly got an idea of what was going to happen.

"Toussan, just one thing. Could you do that outside?" Trunks asked, as Vegeta took the bubbling pot off the burner.  
"Why, would could-YEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!" Vegeta screamed as he poured the hot coffee on his tail and promptly leapt through the roof, his tail on fire.

"That's why." Trunks replied, as the last of the debris finished falling.

"Trunks, did Vegeta fly through the door again?" Bulma called from upstairs.

"No mother, he flew through the roof." Trunks called back as he exited from the house via the nearest door.

"The roof? Well at least I can call a new repairman." Bulma said.

Trunks walked out onto the lawn and stood, his arms out.

"Ok, if what Mom taught me is true, then according to my calculations, Toussan should land right about here. So I'll just stand here and wait so…"

"Trunks, can I have the last Pop-Tart?" Bra called from the kitchen.

"What? NO! You've eaten the whole box! That last one is mine! Hey, don't you even try…!" Trunks yelled as he took off into the kitchen to keep his little sister from devouring the last breakfast pastry.

As the door swung shut, Vegeta crashed into the ground head first, buried up to his knees. The door opened anew and Trunks walked out munching on a piece of self-toasted sweettart.

"Oh dammit." He groaned as he realized he'd forgotten about his father. "Well, he'll live."

Calmly walking over, Trunks pulled his father out by his still-limp tail. Raging, Vegeta leapt to his feet.

"YOU…" he started, before noticing Bra was standing in the doorway with wide, curious eyes. "…Terrible person!"

Trunks nearly choked on his Pop Tart as he heard his father call him such a ridiculous insult. His father scowled.

"You are lucky, son. But I must ask, why didn't you catch me?" Vegeta snarled.

"Why didn't you just fly?" Trunks replied between bites. Vegeta looked at him, then grimanced. The pain in his tail had been so great he'd forgotten all about it. It was about as humilating as when Kakkarott had reminded him, after he had said he would die before he would fuse with him, that he was already dead.

"Argh! While it can feel pain, my tail is still dead to the world! Blasted thing!' Vegeta cursed, before flying off again.

Trunks looked after him, finished his Pop-Tart, and went into the house for a glass of milk. As he came back out into the yard, Vegeta returned with a rooster.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!" the rooster crowed at Vegeta's tail. It still refused to wake up. Vegeta scowled, blasted the rooster, ate it, and then flew off again.

He returned with a large drum and cymbols. He strapped the drum and cymbal on, and began to parade back and forth, making as much noise as possible with the instruments.

BADABOOMCLANGBOOMCLANGCLANGBOOMBOOMBANGCLANGBOOM!

No change in the tail.

Out of ideas, Vegeta resorted to a true Vegeta solution. He threw his tail on the ground and began to jump up and down on it.

STOMP STOMP STOMP!

"ARGH! I've heard of heavy sleepers, but this is ridiculous!" Vegeta yelled, picking up his tail and looking at it.

Trunks, who had finally stopped laughing, wiped away his tears.

"Toussan…heh heh heh. Why do you need your tail awake anyway? It's not like it will affect your fighting abilities." Trunks reasoned.

Vegeta looked at his son and then back at his tail.

"Ah, you're right. Who cares about the tail? I'll just walk around in-STEADDDDDDDD!" Vegeta screamed as he tripped over his limp tail again and fell on his face. "THAT'S WHY!"

"Sigh, I'm sure you'll manage. I'm gonna go see Goten. Have fun, Toussan!" Trunks said as he flew up and off. Vegeta watched his son leave with (you guessed it) a scowl.

"Bah! The prince of the saiya-jins and he's got no one to help him! Now what am I going to do about you?" he said, looking at his tail.

Some time later, Vegeta came out of the house again, now dressed and with several balloons tied to his tail. The helium-filled toys kept his tail afloat and away from his feet.

"This might look stupid, but at least I won't trip over my own feet. That would probably be worse then this ridiculous picture." Vegeta said, as he flew off to train.

Vegeta's estimation of what situation would be worse for his pride was as far off as you could get.

"Vegeta, can I have a balloon?"

"NO! Now let's spar Kakkarott!"

"Vegeta, can I have a balloon?"

"BUGGER OFF YOU NO-NOSED BAKA!"

"Father, can I have a balloon?"

"NO…oh sorry. Here you go sweetie."

"Vegeta, can I have a balloon?"

"THAT DOES IT! WHEN PICCOLO ASKS, I KNOW IT'S A BAD IDEA! No more balloons!"

Of course, once the balloons were gone, more problems cropped up. Eventually, it got so bad that Vegeta acually let Goku win in their sparring session so he would have an excuse to sleep away the rest of the day.

But all bad times come to an end, eventually, and the prince of the saiya-jins crawled onto his wife's bed that night, physically sore and emotionally exhausted.

"I did it! I survived this whole day with this blasted tail! I deserve a medal! I deserve a standing ovation! I deserve immortality! But a good night's sleep with do just as well!" Vegeta gasped. He settled down, carefully laying his tail to the side. Too tired to even kiss Bulma, he closed his eyes and…

**__**

SPRONG!

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WHO'S TRYING TO KILL US NOW!?!??!?!?" Trunks screamed as he burst in on his parents again. He again found his parents safe and sound and his father again standing, now with a very lively tail.

"You blasted thing! You wait all day and now you do this! You…"

Trunks quickly shut the door and ushered his little sister away as Vegeta finally burned a hole in the air. Finally, he ran out of curse words and combinations and settled back into bed with Bulma.

"Well, it's certainly lively now." Vegeta said, looking at his vibrating tail. "I can think of a few things I'd like to do with it now!"

"Ewwwww, Vegeta! I told you when we started dating that I would not go for that kinky stuff!"

"No, woman! I meant I wanted to hurt it! What do you think this is, a bad hentai fic?"

****

CRASH!

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Bra suddenly cried. "Toussan, my fourth wall just fell down!" 


End file.
